Gratitude

Two years ago, my living room was a quiet place populated primarily by cats. I'd head to the coffee shop after work rather than bounce around the apartment like the last piece of taffy in the box. When I thought about surgery, I'd shoot myself down because I couldn't picture taking care of the apartment without being able to lift my arms above my head. I wondered whether I'd be able to take care of myself when I got old.

Now, my son comes out of the living room to give me hugs. My partner smiles wide when I get home from work. I trust that I will not be the only one taking care of the place if I am privileged enough to have top surgery. I know that we'll take care of each other when we're old.

This kind of love, this family would be as loving and as supportive regardless of our gender identity or how our bodies happen to be shaped at a given time.

My family is worth it.

Why is it Important to Make an Effort?

Today I spent some time working closely with one of my teammates. This individual used the word "she" for me when talking with myself and my team manager. I did not have the energy to say anything about it. Then, she caught herself and switched to "he".

I smiled.

When I was wrapping up to go back to my desk, I took a moment to thank her.

She started apologizing for needing to make the correction.

I do not need an apology for being human. We all are. We all make mistakes. I told her that it means a lot to me that she was thinking about it. To catch oneself is to take an active step to overcome the pre-programmed assumption that anatomy equals identity. That is worth as much to me as someone using my preferred pronouns effortlessly.