We should start this adventure by examining some of the language surrounding sex and gender. Many of these are terms which are lumped together by folks whose anatomical sex, chromosomal sex, gender identity, and preferred pronouns all match up. As we enter the world of gender adventuring, lets take a moment to define these and separate them out. I am among those folks for whom these are each distinct qualities having only passing influence on the others.
Anatomical Sex - The physical shape of a person's genitalia and secondary sex characteristics. These can be changed by use of hormones and/or surgery. Most genitalia can fall into the descriptors: male, female, and intersex. Many people incorrectly assume that a person's anatomical sex must match their chromosomal sex. These are generally what doctors and parents look at to assign a gender to a child: "It's a boy!" "It's a girl."
Chromosomal Sex - What a person's genetic makeup has to say about a person's sex. Note: Someone can be XY and be assigned female at birth and may grow and live and identify as a woman. Someone can be XX and be assigned male at birth and may grow and live and identify as a man. There are folks who are XXY and XXXY, folks who test as different genotypes depending on what part of them you test, and folks who have genetic mosaicism, etc.
Gender Identity - How a person identifies in their heart and in their head with regards to gender. One might identify as a man, as a woman, as a genderqueer individual, as a gender-neutral individual, as an agender individual, as a bigender or multigender individual, and many other gender identities.
Gender Expression - The visual cues a person presents to the world with regard to their gender, usually described by terms such as masculine, feminine, and androgynous. If you think about it, someone can be one spot on a range of more masculine to less masculine, yet also be an independent spot on a range of more feminine to less feminine. Qualities which fall outside those spectra are androgynous.
Gender Roles - Sets of behaviors generally ascribed to a gender by society. Western society generally assumes two sets of gender roles: male and female.
Preferred Pronouns - Given that language often assumes a gender of most individuals, a person's preferred pronouns are the set of pronouns with which a person is most comfortable. In some cases there is more than one set of preferred pronouns. Some individuals' preferred pronouns change either slowly over time or on a day-to-day basis.
Sexual Orientation - The set of others to whom an individual is sexually attracted. Someone who is attracted to same-gender individuals is homosexual. Someone who is attracted to "opposite" gender individuals is heterosexual. Someone attracted to male and female individuals is bisexual. Someone attracted to people of all genders is pansexual or queer. Someone who isn't interested in sexual activity with others is considered asexual.
Sexual Behaviors - The behaviors, habits and practices through which one expresses their sexuality alone or with others.
Take a moment to think about the qualities we're used to ascribing to each of these definitions. Each can be a distinct spectrum or matrix of qualities. In my own gender adventures, separating these out has helped me find language with which to describe some of the complexities and conflicts as manifested in my own personality.
